So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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