so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
