Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
