first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
