i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
