I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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