Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
