so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
