This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
