If i come over, it means nothing
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
