everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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