A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
