Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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