her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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