I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
