Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
