if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
honey bunches of taint.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
