I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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