Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
