i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
