If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
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Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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