So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
