she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
