just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
