I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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