You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
