The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
