But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
