somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she smelled like a LAN party
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
