Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
