I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
