I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
