fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
