Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
