Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
