What a fucking waste of an outfit
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i believe in u and ur pee
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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