He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
