That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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