i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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