So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
