I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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