That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
