you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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