How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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