She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
