Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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