Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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