The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
whose parrot is this?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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