hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
