I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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