So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
