Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
