she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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