had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize