I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
