Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
