Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
