Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
