Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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