I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
