i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
